WHO CONTROLS YOU?

You control you right? but do you really?

Do you let outside influences control you?

Do you get emotive when presented with a situation that is out of your control?

We give the person power over us if we let their actions control us, let me explain, say you are working with someone and they are rude to you, if you allow yourself to get emotive and use your energy for spite or hatred back towards them they have controlled your behavior and actions, in essence controlled you.

Lets say that it’s the same person with the same rudeness but you use your energy to just keep doing what you are doing and keep executing your plan, you win. Now that doesn't mean don’t stick up for yourself but not giving a f**k about them, their opinion or giving them your attention is a much more effective way to give them even less power.

Locus of Control

Another form of self-control is explained through the concept of locus of control, the concept was developed from the original work done by Julian B. Rotter in 1954, although there is considered a spectrum of control, the popular interpretation today focusses on the two ends, being either an external or internal locus of control, the definitions from Encyclopedia of Behavioral Medicine, are as follows;

External Locus of control - Those with an external locus of control, view life events as dictated by environmental factors outside of one’s control, such as luck, fate, or powerful others.

Internal locus of control - Individuals with an internal locus of control believe in the power of their own decisions and behaviors to impact life events and determine their own future.

Most highly effective people and leaders have an internal locus of control as it allows them to be focused on an outcome of their own making, they are not affected by influential persons and stay true to their goals.

Circle of Influence, Circle of concern

One tool that I have learnt to help me on my self-control journey is the Circle of Influence, Circle of concern (it goes by a few different names), the concept is based on being concerned about what we can control ourselves. This is achieved by getting your inner circle - what you can influence, to match (or close enough to) the outer circle - the circle of concern, which is your concerns that you have about life.

An example of using this tool might be that you are stuck in traffic on the way home from work, can we influence it at that time ..... no, then why use our energy to be concerned about it, it’s just traffic, it’s not there to annoy you it just exists, or conversely if we are going to do something about it e.g. write a letter or run for office, then it is in our circle of influence and we can be concerned about it and spend our energy influencing the outcome.

I hope there is something that helps you on your enjoy growth journey.

Enjoy Growth,

Mitch